Yes, he was person one. He started with a phrase but it turned ugly when boy 3 decided to be a mean kid, hurt boy 4's feelings and blame "Pablo". He barely speaks English and had no idea what was going on. Why were these boys yelling at him and pointing fingers?
By the time I clued in from the other side of the table "Pablo" was a puddle of tears and was murmuring to himself in sobbing Spanish. Who knows what "Pablo" had meant to say? I doubt he intended an insult. Maybe I am wrong? Now he knows that people who look like your friends will turn on you in a confusing and painful instant.
It broke my heart and I used every ounce of remedial Spanish I know to calm him down. (He smiled a couple of times at my mistakes. Who knows what I really said! Hope I don't get a call from his Mother later.)
Why are we so quick to take things personally? Who really cares if the kid across the table calls you something silly? Is that silly misunderstanding worth tearing another person to pieces? It starts so young and most of us seem to never grow out of it.
Why do we allow ourselves to be so sensitive and defensive that we are walking time bombs, waiting for someone to look at us sideways or fail to escort us to our deserved position at the head table? Are we that lacking in confidence and self esteem? Are we passing this example along to our kids? Are we teaching them that it is okay to attack back when we get embarrassed or slighted?
I want my kids to know that their confidence comes from their creator. That they were created in the image of an infinitely powerful God. He chose us to be his children, created in his perfect and beautiful image. Why do we so quickly forget that and begin measuring ourselves against things so full of imperfection and flaw?
Walk tall, children. Remember who you are. Have the confidence not to let small slights wound you and treat other people like they are part of God's beautiful creation.
Thank you for the reminder "Pablo". I am sorry for your tears. I hope my crazy lady Spanglish lifted your mood and showed you that someone cares.
I am constantly impressed by what a compassionate heart you have for our sons' schoolmates. It is such a good example to our boys. You always seem to know when love should be soft and when it needs to be tough.
ReplyDeleteFirst, how can a kid with the name Pablo be sad? Two, I have been thinking about the same stuff lately due to a school project on spiritual healing - identity being rooted in God. Great thoughts friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you Josh. Soft and tough is a challenging line for me to draw.
ReplyDeleteCheryl, his real name is much more poetic and fitting. Lets talk about your spiritual healing project. I need some material for the image class I am noodling.
i feel, too, like i am ever revisiting this subject in my mind, from observances or from the occasions Natalya encounters and brings home.
ReplyDeletedoes confidence in our creator's love, in knowing that identity, exempt us from a longing to be loved?--which love, in turn, presents itself in what ways?
Is it that those waiting to lash out are lacking confidence in a loving relationship, a sheltering identity, both in God and in family/community? but i suppose both cannot be mutually exclusive as we feel love/identity through others??
....
glad you were there to make Pablo smile. enjoyed your sharing your reflections.
~L