I am on the cusp of beginning a new creative project. It has been far too long since I was in a really creative mode and that is a strong indicator of lack of mindful balance in my life.
I have several unique garments in my head that need to be created. Indecisive, I found myself sorting through my boxes of patterns. I have been collecting patterns since I was about 15. (yes, most of those were stolen from my Mother. shh.) Sorting through the stacks, uninspired, I realized that there was a predictability to these clothing patterns. A pattern to the patterns, if you will.
At least 65% of the patterns were for very structured, classically professional, "take me seriously" clothing. If E.T. came down and looked at my collection, he would assume I was a driven, intense, business executive. (who really likes extra long jackets.)
Standing there criticizing myself for not drawing more creative inspiration from them, I realized that I was looking at a snapshot of a former season in my life. I was trying to draw energy and growth from leaves that had already dried up and fallen off the tree.
It is true, I used to be all of those things. A very structured, professional, taken seriously, driven, intense, business executive. I used to wear beautiful suits and silk every day. I loved that time in my life, loved embodying the ready for promotion, going places lifestyle.
That's not really me anymore. I chose to step away from that. I felt led to spend a few seasons seeking to be someone different. Someone who wears yoga clothing a REALLY high percentage of the week and knows most of the school teachers by their first names. My life is very unstructured and pretty messy (God knew it would take at least TWO boys to teach me how to do that!), I am almost never taken seriously, and I haven't worn a suit in years.
But the rewards of this season are so much greater than I imagined. I realized that when I looked at those carefully selected clothing patterns, shadows of a former life and all of the goodness I remember. I am uninspired by those trappings because that is no longer me.
My inspiration comes from much different things now. And those things are even more beautiful in my eyes.
Anyone need any suit patterns?
The wonderful thing about you is you are always learning. No matter if you are in the tailored suit stage or the yogo wear stage you have always been and continue to be on that maturing journey of your life. I love that about you, the really fun thing is you shine in every stage of your life I love your thoughts in this post. Children teach us so much and your wonderful involved mothering shows in the amazing boys you are intrusted with.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with your statement of never being taken seriously. Because you always contribute thoughtful inspiring words to whatever you are participating in. Perhaps there is not raise for a goal or no promotion (would you like to head up MORE committees?).. but your words are full of wisdom and meaning. And I personally like it when you share them.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words ladies. You are too good to me.
ReplyDeleteDonna, NO, I don't think I need any MORE committees, just maybe the right ones that are a bit more food for my soul.
"I was trying to draw energy and growth from leaves that had already dried up and fallen off the tree." I love this image.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate: "It has been far too long since I was in a really creative mode and that is a strong indicator of lack of mindful balance in my life."
~L
Donna, good job on calling Tanya on that one. I have never met someone so revered who believes there is no one interested in what she has to offer.
ReplyDeleteAlso, while I have no need for yoga wear, I often wish I could afford to have less need for my suits.