...and the 2011 Most Valuable School Volunteer goes to...

Someone else...

I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I forgot to sign myself out of the elementary school volunteer database yesterday. I have been accruing volunteer hours all night long!

Thank goodness...I am sure I needed more. It is important that I keep my name up there on the "Top 5 most dedicated and loving parent volunteers" list.

I've been thinking about the ways we measure ourselves as parents. I am pretty sure school volunteering is high on the lists of many. The more you love your kids the more time you spend helping at school, right? Seriously??

One of my good friends is an employed parent. She works hard all day at a tiring job, regularly commutes to the coast and back in a single day, oh and ALSO parents her two kids. They play sports just like mine do, they do homework just like everyone else, they likely even make their beds on occasion. She feels guilty that she doesn't volunteer more.

Where do we draw the line with this parenting guilt thing?

Here it is my friends - There is always something MORE to be done and YOU don't ALWAYS have to be the one to save the day. (Just a little insight into my own personal mantra for reformed super heroes.) Who's with me? Can I get a whoop whoop?

Should you try to contribute to your little darling's education? YES, of course!

Should you try to be available for appropriate volunteer contributions? YES

Should you try to apply your special skills and talents to the benefit of your child's school? Yes.

Should you feel incredibly guilty when you fail to win the Most Valuable Volunteer award? NO

Should we measure ourselves against other people's volunteer hours? NO, of course!

NO, OF COURSE! Then why do we do that to ourselves and each other? Why do we play that comparison game? Why are we so often so harsh with ourselves AND other people?

Some people absolutely LIVE to volunteer at school. Some people get energy from time spent with hundreds of wriggly 5 - 11 year olds. If that is you then GREAT. (I personally really love to laminate and introduce children to dangerous tools but I think there is a 12 step program for that.)

I want to live a life of service. I want to be a person who doesn't care about getting great kudos for the work I do. I want to have an encouraging impact on everyone I encounter. Often I want to do that at my kids school. It's an amazing and fun place. The walls there are almost as colorful as my own house! Where else can you go from go from xylophones to juggling to sustainable architecture to art supplies to organic gardening to math facts to grilled cheese sandwiches to hundreds of wonderful books in just a few steps?

BUT there are times when I want to live outside of school. Does that mean I love my kids less than the folks who spend more hours sitting in tiny little chairs than I do? Am I somehow less dedicated to my children's success? Make no mistake, I am incredibly grateful to the folks who spend countless hours donating time. Volunteers make the wheels turn, stand in the gap when budget cuts gouge.

I just want us to take a page from the kindergarten play-book and "use nice language with ourselves and others. Play nicely and appreciate others for our unique contributions." It is not the quantity of the hours spent but the quality. It is the heart and the motivation behind why you are there.

Donate your time deliberately. Go ahead and stretch your comfort zones and try something new. Maybe riding a bus full of screaming 1st graders, bound for the Metro transfer station is more fun than you'd think? Decide where you fit best and make yourself useful. Feel free to say no when you need to and respect others when they need to do the same. Stop measuring yourself against other people and believing you've come up short.

What do we tell our kids? Make YOUR best effort. Teachers don't allow students to compare report cards. Why should we?